|
|
Grace is no excuse to remarryThis letter was written to a sister who is marrying a divorced man, to explain why I cannot attend her wedding. The divorced man claimed the divorce exception as his reason for remarrying. Although, we can say that in the case of adultery, Moses permitted divorce (to those under the law), it was because of the hardness of their hearts.Dear Sister, When I read your email I was deeply saddened. First, I want to say that my interest for you is what is best for you spiritually, and my hope is that I only treat you in love as a younger sister in Christ "with all purity" (1Timothy 5:2). Furthermore, I would like to say that I would gladly attend any marriage to any man (1) who is not divorced and (2) that is also able to do His godly duties as a husband, given as an example by Christ "that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word" (Eph 5:26). If you are going to put someone in Scriptural authority over you, should it not be someone who is (1) more spiritually mature than you, and (2) more scripturally grounded in the word than you: someone who walks precisely according to what he sees in the word? Secondly, I would like to clear up something. Maybe at one time this was a little unclear to me, but I do believe now that it is most clear. Although I do not see that it is "adulterous" for you and your fiance to marry, but I do believe it is a sin to seek His permissive will, rather than His directive will. And this quote from Watchman Nee helps to explain why: God said to the Israelites, "Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives" (Matthew 19:8), but the Lord Jesus said, "What God has yoked together, let man not separate" (Matthew 19:6). Is there not a discrepancy here? No! "Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so" (Matthew 19:8). It is not that in the beginning it was permissible again, as though God were a changeable God. No, the Lord said, "From the beginning it has not been so" showing that God's will had never altered. From the beginning right on until today it is just the same. Here is the most important principle. If we want to know the mind of God, we must look at His commands in Genesis and not look at His permissions later on, because every later permission has this explanation, "because of your hardness of heart." It is God's directive will we want to discover, not His permissive will. We want to see what God's purpose was from the beginning. We want to see things as they were when they proceeded in all their purity from the mind of God, not what they have become because of hardness of heart on the part of His people. Seeking His permissive exposes the hardness of our heart. This is a lesson I have learned from a close brother in the faith, who has forsaken all to follow Christ. He left everything completely trusting Him to take care of his needs. And he is heading to a land where many will be martyred for their faith. We must not dare use the word "grace" to lower the standard that God has set for us. But scripturally, the word "grace" is always used as the means of giving us the ability to live supernaturally above the world, that God may be glorirfied. For example, someone saying "I believe God's grace gives me the ability to remarry." But I must ask as martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer did:
What is our response to that costly grace? Is it not to lay down ALL of our life and desires, and to fully give our life to Him...to become living sacrifices to God (Romans 12:1). If we believe that it was "costly grace", how much more are we to take up our cross daily to follow Him? (Luke 9:23) Living no longer for ourselves, but for Him who purged us of our sin and made us clean. What do we give to God, but that we offer Him our entire lives as a "living sacrifice". But as far as I can tell, grace is not ever intended as a means to compromise God's standard or to settle for His permissive will. Paul says it twice in Romans 6:
"What shall we say then? Shall we
continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" Romans 6:1-2
"What then? Shall we sin because we are not It appears to me that Biblical "grace" is the type of "grace" that allows us to do great things for God. As in 1Corinthians 1:4ff
"I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of
God which was given to you by Christ Jesus... that you may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." 1Corinthians 1:4,8
"And God is able to make all grace
abound toward you,
"My grace is sufficient for you,
"I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me."
"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, Costly grace calls us to perfection. It calls us to laying down our complete life for Him. It is the grace that God gives me to continue to love my wife even though she hates me. It is the grace that causes us to patiently endure suffering. It is the grace that allows us to follow His example to live a life of poverty, that others may be rich (2 Corinthians 6:10)
"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich." 2Corinthians 8:9 Remarriage was strictly forbidden for the first four centuries of the Church. John Stott notes this now "extreme" view held by the early church: At this point I need to mention the extreme view which has been plausibly argued by Gordon Wenham in the Third Way articles already noted. He believes that Jesus' exceptive clause permitted divorce in the sense of separation, but that he forbade all remarriage. He bases his case on two main arguments. First, that for five centuries (with the sole exception of Ambrosiaster in the fourth century) the church fathers denied all right of remarriage after divorce, insisting that nothing can dissolve marriage except death. This remained the standard position of the Western church until Erasmus defended the innocent party's right to remarry after divorce, and the Protestant Reformers followed him. Second, Dr. Wenham argues that only a total ban on remarriage can account for the astonishment of the disciples. Their response was, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry" (Matthew 19:10). Moreover, Jesus replied to this by referring to three kinds of "eunuch," meaning "celibate." With Erasmus' interpretation of 1Corinthians 7, I believe the entire Church today has comprimised God's true desire for the Church to remain blameless. Do you think that if the Church today upheld this standard, that the divorce rate in the church would be practically the same as it is in the world? God calls us to come out from among them and be separate (2 Corinthians 6:17). We are not to look in any way like the world. Where the world divorces and remarries at will, we dare not. Being single is a very precious gift from God; only single people can have no cares in this world.
"But I want you to be without care.
He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-- how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world-- how he may please his wife." 1Corinthians 7:32-33 I am very concerned for you spiritually. Now, as single, Christ, is your only authority. You are free to do everything He wishes and to glorify Him with your entire being. When you become married, now you will have worldly responsibilities. Although I dare not forbid marriage, I must uphold God's ideal that marriage be as God intended in Genesis, not as Moses permitted in Deuteronomy. I dare not forbid marriage, but should we not uphold the very holiness of God, as living examples, separated to Him for holiness, not compromising any standard, not seeking His permissive will, but that which will glorify Him the most? And if God desires for you to be married then praise the Lord, but do you really think God's very best is to offer you a divorced man?
"But she is happier if she remains as she is,
according to my judgment--and I think I also have the Spirit of God." 1Corinthians 7:40 Whatever you might think of my decision or however it appears, God knows my heart (1 Samuel 16:7b, John 7:24), and He is the one I must answer to. Although I cannot change your decision, not coming to your wedding allows me to continue walking in faith, not that I have already attained, and not that I know completely His will concerning everything about why He would not want me to go. your brother in Christ, References
|